he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
