We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize