I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
