Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
