Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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