you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
