I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
