I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
