in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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