yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
