Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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