Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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