I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
