How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
