Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
