So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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