NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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