You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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