she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
