Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
