there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
