I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There r osticjed everywhere
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
