Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
