we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
