I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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