Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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