I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize