Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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