Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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