Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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