I think my vagina is haunted
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
