Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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