tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
