Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
