Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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