I need help removing her.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
