Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
