So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
