Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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