The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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