Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
