Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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