We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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