Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
