Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize