OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize