seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
