I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
