i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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