Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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