So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
