Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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