I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
