Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
