as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize