office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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