I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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